Bitch & Moan

So first – I am so incredibly thankful for the WordPress iPhone App. I’d prefer to be at my desk writing right now, but my body’s on day 5 of a flareup and I spent most of the day sleeping, followed by a good few hours finishing a paper, and I just can’t sit at my desk anymore, and I can’t sit in a position in bed to use my laptop either, snd my arms are in too much pain to type, so I’m super glad this is an option. 

I was also about to self sensor and then realized: fuck it, it’s my blog, I can write, bitch, moan, and complain about whatever the fuck I want to here…that’s the whole fucking point.

So that said: I’m on day five of a flare up because my PT wanted to see my pain limits and levels (which was depressing in and of itself because it took ten minutes of barely and activity to fuck up five+ days of my life, and make absolutely everything miserable; I can’t even find a position to sit/exist in comfortably).

Adding this bullshit to my general level of pain and fatigue, I’m amazed I’ve gotten any work done at all. I keep on reminding myself I just have to get through this summer, and then it’s just field placement and two more courses (one class each semester) until graduation.

Fortunately, Akiva (my cat) is super snuggly, I have Netflix, and I’m almost done writing out my work schedule (including time built in for Fibromyalgia Fuckery) to get me through the rest of the summer courses.

One of the hardest things to get used to is forgiving yourself for not being able to do things/giving yourself permission to not check off everything on you to do list because your body just won’t let you.
It’s all a very shitty learning process. And right now it’s a shitty learning process where I can barely walk, everything hurts, and there’s no way of getting comfortable at all.