On Being in Awe

As I began to complete treatment plans for my patients (while currently suspended as a necessity by the Office of Mental Health, I had decided I’d rather keep them current, so I don’t have a metric ton of paperwork to do when that requirement comes back in full force). Anyway, I was reflecting on how hard it can be to hold a healing space for my patients in the whirlwind of this crisis. Being a healer takes energy. And we work so hard to avoid burnout.

However, as I went through and began to review the 40 or so treatment plans I wanted to bring up to date and saw the incredible progress, and growth, and resilience, and strength of my patients, I felt this wonderful and incredible sense of awe come over me and I felt so refreshed and so recharged.

I realized that I am continually in awe. I am in awe of humanity. I am in awe of the power to overcome trauma. I am in awe of the ability to overcome torment and torture. I am in awe of our ability to battle our own minds. I am in awe of our ability to hold ourselves up and together amid countless storms. I am in awe of the holiness that exists between each of us when we work to heal one another.

I am in awe of the laughter that exists amidst tears. I am in awe of the ability to be surprised. I am in awe of recovery and the power to mend and to heal. I am in awe for the power to take apart and to separate and to move forward alone. I am in awe at the love that one another can show to total strangers. I am in awe when someone learns how to fall in love with themselves again after years of self-hate.

I am in awe of the universe and the power of community and networks, big and small: from the anthill to the cosmos. I am in awe at our individuality among our interconnectedness.

I am in awe at our individual and collective resilience.

“There is nothing as straight as a crooked ladder.” The Rebbe of Kotsk