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Dr. Matthew L. Schwartz, DSW, LCSW, MBA, CFSW
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“Today 4 U Tomorrow For Me” – Angel, RENT

“Today 4 U Tomorrow For Me” – Angel, RENT

2021-09-18 DrMattDSW

When I was in the Israel Defense Forces I was a Chayal Boded (a “Lonely Soldier”) – someone who is serving in the army with no family in the country. I developed my chosen family and my brothers and sisters in arms during my service. As a Chayal Boded, I was often invited to friends’ houses during holidays.

During Simchat Torah, when we rewind the Torah and start all over again I was invited to a friend’s house. His family is Moroccan. The hospitality and culture, warm, and funny. After being fed…just…so much food (“He must be shy…give him more food…”) I remember sitting down for coffee with my friend and his family.

The conversation eventually turned to me: who I was, why on Earth I had moved to Israel and joined the IDF, what I thought of the Israeli men. When my friend’s mother found out that I had a degree (I had explained that I finished my degree in Linguistics and thought that this was my next logical step), she shared something with me: she had relayed her sadness, that in her own family, and in some (many?) segments of society, there was a drive to earn as much money as possible after the army instead of going to college or vocational school first.

It’s not that there isn’t academic drive in Israel (there is, and some incredible scholarship) it was that it often takes a few more years for young adults to engage with academic or vocational programs, as many go to other countries to sell in the mall kiosks, or find other ways to earn cash, until they come to a reckoning of what it will take to get by, and eventually thrive.

My friends mom was worried that the concept of sacrificing now for reward later was becoming something less familiar as just an…understood…concept. This is from a society that has sacrificed so much: from the ashes that our country was founded on, to wars, and blockades, and more. The Kibbutz movement, that made the desert bloom. She was worried that there was a shift in understanding: that those younger than me didn’t understand that the hard now is the key that opens doors later.

I can’t say that, in that moment, I agreed with her: I honestly didn’t know enough of Israeli society to know. What I did know, was that her thoughts, feelings, and beliefs were genuine.

This memory was brought back to the forefront of my mind this week when reading reports on COVID-19; the lack of patience and lack of willingness to sacrifice now for later. The growing segment that doesn’t realize that the hard now is the key that opens our front doors, and lives open up later.The lack of willingness to understand that we can’t go back, and we can only go forward. To understand that it’s going to likely get a lot harder before it gets better. That some sacrifices (wearing a mask) aren’t as hard as others (distancing, not seeing friends). The denialism. The shocking reality that despite three vaccination shots I’ve received, because of my immunosuppressants, I may not be protected at all.

We are standing at the precipice of historic revolution (as in a change as seismic as the industrial revolution): a total change in how we relate to one another, our communities, and work, locally, nationally, internationally…and while this has been building throughout the pandemic (and, in fact, in the lead up to it) I fear, as did my friend’s mother, that the denialism, the lack of hard now for later, will cause segments of society to be in shock when we can no longer deny our current geopolitical state.

Back on the street
Where I met my sweet
Where he was moaning and groaning
On the cold concrete
The nurse took him home
For some Mercurochrome
And I dressed his wounds
And got him back on his feet
Sing it!
Today 4 you
Tomorrow 4 me
Today 4 you
Tomorrow 4 me
I said today 4 you
Tomorrow 4 me
Today 4 you
Tomorrow 4 me
- Angel, RENT

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